


you were my everything

by orphan_account



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Heartache, Heartbreak, M/M, Rejection, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, ZhuLiuHai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:35:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25266961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: How deep you invest yourself with someone is as deep as the pain that you'll inflict on yourself once you realise that they don't return the same sentiment.
Relationships: Liu Haikuan/Zhu Zanjin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	you were my everything

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ZhuLiuHai fic! I'm more on the angst side of the fandom, so I send my apologies now for the sadness 😅🙏

"I like you."

Zhu Zanjin's statement fell on deaf ears—or, on ears that denied what they had heard.

Sure, there were two possible meanings to that sentence, but from the tone of the man's voice and the way his eyes shone with a light akin to a star, Liu Haikuan knew which of the two it was.

"It's not a funny joke—"

"What if I'm not joking?" Zhu Zanjin asked, staring at the back of the tall figure that refused to look at him. Zhu Zanjin bit his lip, continuing the battle that had already been lost, and desperately clinging to a chance that was never there to begin with.

He fought with all that he could.

But the one he loved couldn't do the same.

And he knew that, yet fooled himself into thinking that it could be changed.

"Then, I'm sorry to say that I can't reciprocate your feelings."

It was then that Liu Haikuan turned back, finally looking at Zhu Zanjin to let the man know that he was genuine with his guilt. He didn't want to hurt him, but lying about it would only be worse than saying the truth.

_~~The truth that he did not look at Zhu Zanjin in the same way as the lovely person did for him.~~ _

It was Liu Haikuan's mistake, seeing as the spark in Zhu Zanjin's eyes slowly faded with each passing second that they stared at each other. It only made him more guilty.

The tension only broke when Zhu Zanjin bursted into laughter, temporarily surprising Liu Haikuan before the man realised what he was doing.

"Oh, it's a good thing that I'm joking then. Otherwise, this would be an awkward conversation to have," Zhu Zanjin chuckled nervously, running his left hand on the back of his head and letting his fingers rest on it. His hair hid the uncontrollable shaking motion of his limb.

Liu Haikuan almost fell for the charade, but Zhu Zanjin's teary eyes gave away the lie. He didn't say anything though, knowing full-well that his words would only worsen the wound that he'd placed on Zhu Zanjin's heart.

"I'm sorry for the lame joke. I guess it's not to your taste. I'll keep that in mind now," Zhu Zanjin shut his eyes as he said this, probably growing conscious of the tears that were starting to form. 

He gave a cheery smile, one that showed his dimples and one that Liu Haikuan liked a lot during their private conversations, hidden away from the public eye and judgement from other people. It was his most genuine smile.

But at the moment, Liu Haikuan couldn't bare to admire it one bit. Especially since it was forced, failed replica of the one that Liu Haikuan grew to relish.

Did he have the right to relish it?

Definitely not after this.

"Anyways, I think my manager's calling me. It must be for the interview they rescheduled for later. I guess this is my time," Zhu Zanjin bowed, only to stop himself mid-way, slowly realising that they're no longer the characters that they played in the show that brought them together. 

He no longer needed to bid farewell to his most special person.

He laughed again, raising his head and waving his hand now, waiting for Liu Haikuan's response before turning around and leaving him.

To his surprise, Liu Haikuan bowed, just as he had during their filming.

He raised his head and did the same as Zhu Zanjin, laughing before waving his hand in goodbye.

It was then that Zhu Zanjin broke inside.

He turned around and walked away, holding everything in until he was sure that Liu Haikuan was far enough to not hear him.

He stopped his tracks, looking up to the sky before letting the tears fall on his cheeks.

"Why must it be a goodbye when I finally see your smile?" Zhu Zanjin pondered, wiping the tears away and breathing in the cool air, breathing out weakly right after.

He didn't intend to fall for his co-star; he didn't intend to hurt himself like this. But every time he was with Liu Haikuan, all seemed like a fairytale for Zhu Zanjin. The tall and strong man was the Knight in Shining Armour that managed to woo the Prince Charming named Zhu Zanjin.

But Zhu Zanjin forgot: Fairytales were just a fantasy. It was not real.

Not realising the difference it had from reality only served to give him false hope into a dream that could never come true.

_How deep you invest yourself with someone is as deep as the pain that you'll inflict on yourself once you realise that they don't return the same sentiment._


End file.
